Women Identify Their Persistent Challenges That Lead Them to Disengage from Romantic Encounters with Male Partners
In today's intimate relationships, a significant shift is underway, particularly among young women. They are taking on a disproportionate load of invisible emotional labor, supporting men through intense feelings of failure and isolation [1]. This emotional burden is often met without the reciprocity that is essential in a healthy relationship.
As a result, many young women are "quiet-quitting" relationships. This gradual emotional disengagement, mirroring the workplace concept of quiet quitting, sees one partner, often without an explicit breakup, stop investing effort, enthusiasm, or emotional energy into the relationship [1]. Instead of openly ending the relationship, they "dial it back" and settle into emotional emptiness, effectively "quitting" quietly by withdrawing connection and commitment [1].
This phenomenon is linked to feelings of being unheard, undervalued, or emotionally exhausted in relationships. These experiences can lead to a lower desire to date or engage in romantic relationships, as the emotional cost and unmet expectations create hesitation or reluctance toward commitment [2]. Relationship burnout, akin to quiet quitting, leads to emotional exhaustion and detachment from partners once deeply cared for, contributing to a broader trend where young women are less likely to want to date or invest in traditional romantic relationships [5].
Underlying causes include societal pressures, emotionally unfulfilling interactions, and the pursuit of personal well-being over conforming to expected relationship roles. This echoes similar trends seen as "quiet cracking" in work life—an inner dissonance when one's emotional or personal needs go unmet despite outward appearances of normalcy [4].
The crisis is especially acute for younger men, with two-thirds reporting that "no one really knows them" [1]. Emotional fluency will take practice for men, and expectations of manhood haven't evolved as quickly as those for women.
Women are increasingly opting to date older men to avoid having to "mother" their significant other. They are rejecting patriarchal expectations that previous generations internalized, including suppressing their own needs to provide emotional support to men [1].
Not all relationships end in quiet quitting, however. Sara, a 21-year-old woman, ended her relationship with a partner who cheated on her and expected her to comfort him. COVID-19 has exacerbated the dynamics of emotional labor in relationships, with many young women providing increased emotional support to men who do not have it elsewhere [1].
Broader beliefs about gender equity are shaping how much support partners expect and feel entitled to from each other. Women feel that men aren't doing enough to support gender equality, whereas 60% of men believe they're expected to do too much [1]. Men consider this unburdening to women a "natural part" of their relationships, but women describe it as work, which researchers at Stanford University call "mankeeping" [1].
Among teenage girls, 80% report that sexual assault is "normal and common" in their friendship groups [1]. About half of Gen Z women report feeling disrespected by men [1].
This shift in emotional labor and expectations is not without consequence. Intimate partner abuse has now been cited as an indicator of attitudes that underpin extreme violence [1].
In conclusion, the rise of "quiet quitting" in relationships among young women is a complex issue, rooted in unmet emotional needs, societal pressures, and evolving gender roles. It underscores the need for open communication, emotional intelligence, and a reevaluation of traditional gender roles in relationships.
- In the realm of health-and-wellness, the emotional exhaustion and detachment experienced by young women in relationships are revealing a pressing need for mental health resources and support.
- Beyond relationships, the shifting dynamics in workplaces, where the idea of 'quiet quitting' emerged, can offer insights into the emotional labor issues in relationships, particularly among young women.
- As society progresses, traditional gender roles are being challenged, with women seeking more equal partnerships in relationships, and less emphasis on providing mental support and 'mankeeping'.
- The trend of quiet quitting in relationships is not solely confined to emotional labor; it can also extend to other aspects of lifestyle, such as commitment to relationships and investment in them.
- The escalating rates of sexual assault and disrespect reported by teenage girls and Gen Z women highlight the urgent need for culture and societal changes that promote respect, equality, and a healthier understanding of relationships.
