Struggling Health: Friendship Tested as Companions Disregard Recovering Individual's Boundaries
In a world where social etiquette can sometimes feel overwhelming, Miss Manners, the renowned authority on manners, offers guidance for those finding themselves in tricky situations.
Recently, a writer found themselves in such a predicament. Miss Manners addressed the writer's concern about neighbours who had invited themselves on the writer's anniversary trip, only to refuse to contribute a penny. The advice? A simple yet firm response: "I'm sorry, but I need to leave now, so if you want a ride home, we'll have to go."
However, the writer often finds themselves in situations where they end up staying past their physical limit due to common courtesy. When it comes to personal health, it's essential to prioritise self-care. Miss Manners suggests expressing one's health-related reason for leaving early in a courteous manner. For instance:
"I’m really grateful to be here tonight; it’s been wonderful. Unfortunately, I need to head out a bit early due to some health reasons—I want to make sure I’m feeling my best. I hope you all enjoy the rest of your evening!"
Such phrasing helps maintain good relations while respecting one's limits. It's crucial to give notice as early as possible, if feasible, to avoid inconvenience.
The writer, who had a major health event last year and is still recovering, often feels obligated to stay with friends who want to nurse their drinks and chat after a meal. Miss Manners assures the writer that they are allowed to leave whenever they want, regardless of their health condition.
In another instance, a friend had no ride home after staying back, but the writer did not suggest a solution immediately. Miss Manners suggests offering a solution promptly, such as, "I'm sorry that I can't stay to keep you company. I wish I could, but I'm completely exhausted and need to get home and rest."
Maintaining a tidy home can also pose a challenge for some. Miss Manners acknowledges a friend who keeps their home so tidy it puts the writer to shame, and the writer is afraid to invite the friend over. Miss Manners advises that it's best to be honest about the situation and invite the friend when the home is clean, or offer to meet somewhere else.
Miss Manners' contact information, copyright, and distribution details can be found below:
- Website: www.missmanners.com
- Email: [email protected]
- Postal mail: Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
- Copyright: COPYRIGHT 2025 JUDITH MARTIN
- Distributed by Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106; 816-581-7500.
Remember, navigating social situations with grace and honesty ensures both your well-being and the comfort of others are considered. Balancing personal boundary-setting with social etiquette is key to maintaining healthy relationships.
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"At social gatherings, instead of prioritizing fitness-and-exercise, it's crucial to be mindful of one's health-and-wellness. For instance, if feeling tired, one could express, 'I'd love to continue this conversation, but I'm feeling fatigued today. Let's catch up another time.'"
"In seeking guidance on mental health matters, it might be beneficial to approach Miss Manners, especially considering her expertise in social etiquette. For example, if confronted with a challenging social situation that's negatively impacting mental health, one could say, 'This situation is causing me significant stress. I appreciate your understanding as I step away to manage my mental health.'"
