Differences in Narcissistic Behavior Between Men and Women: Identifying Signs

Differences in Narcissistic Behavior Between Men and Women: Identifying Signs

Narcissism, often associated with arrogant and boastful individuals, is more complex than this stereotype suggests. According to Ava Green, a lecturer in forensic psychology at City St George's, University of London, UK, narcissism exists along a spectrum, and only about 1-2% of the population have full-blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

The two main types of narcissism are grandiose and vulnerable. Grandiose narcissism, typically found in men, is characterised by outward confidence, status-seeking, self-importance, and charisma. In contrast, vulnerable narcissism, more common in women, is marked by insecurity, emotional hypersensitivity, anxiety, and a quiet sense of entitlement.

Vulnerable narcissism in women presents with emotional sensitivity, insecurity, and victimized behaviours. Women with this type often exhibit needy, passive-aggressive, and manipulative traits, using victimhood and emotional displays to get their needs met. They tend to harbor shame wounds and show negativity, complain often, harbor dissatisfaction, and play the victim to avoid responsibility and gain sympathy. They may also use verbal aggression justified as maintaining control, but often with emotional rapid shifts from rage to compliance.

Grandiose narcissism in men tends to present with dominance, aggression, extroversion, and a bold sense of superiority. Male grandiose narcissists exhibit overt confidence, arrogance, and entitlement, often engaging in assertive or dominant behaviours linked to higher testosterone sensitivity. This form is associated with overt displays of power, self-importance, and sometimes leadership traits.

Research suggests that women’s vulnerable narcissism is linked genetically to estrogen and serotonin-related genes, increasing emotional sensitivity and anxiety, fitting societal norms around femininity and vulnerability. In contrast, men’s grandiose narcissism is more related to testosterone and the AR gene affecting dominance and assertiveness.

The consequences of these two types of narcissism can be far-reaching. For women with vulnerable narcissism, difficulties in relationships are common due to their manipulative victim stance, emotional volatility, and tendency to drain others emotionally. They may create toxic dynamics by playing victim or seeking excessive validation, contributing to social alienation and interpersonal conflict.

For men with grandiose narcissism, consequences often involve conflicts stemming from aggression, entitlement, and dominance. They may struggle with empathy and maintain relationships based on power or control, potentially leading to social alienation or professional conflicts despite possible leadership success.

In summary, narcissism manifests differently across genders. Vulnerable narcissism in women often revolves around insecurity and emotional manipulation, while grandiose narcissism in men focuses on overt dominance and self-aggrandizement. It's important to note that narcissistic individuals, regardless of gender, pursue a fantasy version of themselves and will use societal norms to achieve their ends.

It's also crucial to remember that while this article focuses on narcissists specifically, the majority of domestic abuse is perpetrated by men. However, women, like men, can cause significant harm in domestic abuse situations through manipulative behaviours.

The goal of treatment is not to 'cure' narcissism but to help individuals manage their symptoms and develop greater emotional regulation. Understanding the differences between vulnerable and grandiose narcissism can help therapists tailor their approaches to better address the unique challenges posed by each type.

1. The link between narcissism in women and vulnerability is rooted in genetics, specifically estrogen and serotonin-related genes, which increase emotional sensitivity and anxiety, aligning with societal norms around femininity and vulnerability in psychology research.
2. Health-and-wellness professionals should be aware that women with vulnerable narcissism can create toxic dynamics due to their manipulative victim stance, emotional volatility, and tendency to drain others emotionally, impacting their relationships and overall health.
3. Mental-health research on men reveals that grandiose narcissism is more related to testosterone and the AR gene, affecting dominance and assertiveness, leading to consequences such as conflicts stemming from aggression, entitlement, and dominance in their personal and professional lives.
4. As both vulnerable and grandiose narcissism can have far-reaching consequences, it is essential for mental-health professionals to understand the differences between these two types of narcissism to provide tailored treatment in the science of psychotherapy, aiming to help individuals manage their symptoms and develop greater emotional regulation in the field of health-and-wellness.

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